Pangkor Trip.
Leaving for the pangkor trip this evening. It's probably the first time I ever felt so unsettled and uneasy before embarking on a holiday.
How to, when she's still lying on the hospital bed and when her transport back home this sat is still unarranged and not taken care of. Towards the rest, I've given up hope and have had enough of commenting. We have different priorities in life.
To make matters worst, I can't do nuts abt this trip cos I don't call the shots this time round. I don't wanna be accused of making things difficult for ppl. As far as I'm concerned, I try to take things into my hand and not ask ppl for help unless really necessary. Not that I don't want them to help, but sometimes it's really not easy for them to understand the situation, dilemmas and predicament that I'm in. One word more - it would probably irritate and piss that person off. So on my part, I try to follow suit, sacrificing a lil' on my side and of cos making things up on other ends. That's why I say, I hope that ppl would be more appreciative all the things around them instead of showing the usual attitude and black face that they mask in or even worse still, end up quarreling wif me.
I do feel myself putting on a phantom mask these days. I can feel their anticipation and I do not want to dissapoint them as well.
Anyway decision's made, bag's packed and loaded. The only thing that's not filled is probably my heart..
On an ending note, he told me he had a weird dream. He dreamt that we were no longer together..
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