Freedom...
Did I mention that I feel so free suddenly? Yes. After a few days of avoiding, having my "alone time" that I so desired and yearned, and finally deciding to face reality, ya, I made that call to him.
It still took me quite some time before I finally found the words that I wanted to tell him. I teared though, when I was making my revealation. I aint angry wif him anymore, seriously. Thanks for bringing that sunshine smile back to my face, which was taken away by the "older him". But then, I guess, during these two years, I have changed. Changed to become a more independent person. A stronger person. Maybe I am not that used to couple-hood anymore, not used to commitment and having to meet up everyday anymore. Maybe it aint the right time and moment..
I'm glad and relieved that we ended things on a friendly note. Things between us aint that bad after all. At least, things didnt turn sour.. Find your own happiness ba. I'm sure you deserve a better girl than me. Thanks for giving in to my selfish-ness and self-indulgence. =)
I'm still at a crossroad. A decision that I had already decided on, and supposed to finalize tomorrow is somehow on the shaky rocks again. Well, situations change and I have to adapt to changes also. I think I've got to withdraw my decision tomorrow. It's really just not so easy as wat you guys see. Not just a simple thing as, I'm not happy then just do it lorr. I do have family and financial commitment can. Sigh.
I seem so fickle-minded.
Labels: love, work