My Confession...
After your confession 1 week back, I followed up wif my confession too.
My palms were cold - as what you mentioned. I pretended to care about those tacky advertising posters as we walked by, when I should be looking at you and listening to what you were saying.
It's like what happens when your own self, after being used to 2 years of independence, constant reliance on friends and family members, so so used to doing things almost alone, suddenly finds a moment of rest - a moment of weakness and yet not wanting and willing to admit it. I'm not sad, really, but I am unsettled.
I kept searching for the lost old feeling I used to enjoy and missed. I questioned and searched within myself for answers and tried to make me feel better. And in the midst of all these, I started comparing absent-mindedly. I know I probably should not do all these, and that its just so unfair to you. And of all songs, you just had to sing Andy Lau's 爱你一万年 yesterday - and you sang it so well. It brought tears to my eyes, I didnt know why. And you didnt dare sing Jacky Cheung's 你的名字 我的姓氏 cos you know of the history behind this song. And when I sang Elva Xiao's 安静, you clapped for me. Thats because I sang this song wif my feelings and related it to my life.
Later over dinner, I told you I'm not used to it. I'm no longer the kind of girl who would want to meet up every other day and be lovey-dovey over it. I'm no longer the kind of girl who will restrict your freedom and activities. Go ahead, by all means. Likewise, I would expect the same kind of the treatment back. Freedom. Yet, I would very much still wanna settle down one day. Sounds so contradicting, I know.
Its at times like this, that I really wonder if I'll ever love another person like how I used to love him...
Labels: love, updates
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